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A Fun Game with Post-it Notes to Learn About Your Partner

As someone who works closely in the Design and Product Management space, post-it notes are an essential tool in my daily workflow. On our fourth date, my girlfriend and I created a game that became the defining moment of our relationship — one where we learned the most about each other.

The game is better played with physical post-it notes but long-distance couples can also play it with Miro. I’ve made a template available for free here.

What you’ll need

  1. 60 post-it notes of two different colors (30 of each color)

  2. Two pens or pencils

How long will it take

The game can take anywhere between 1 to 3 hours depending on how garrulous and opinionated each person is.

Here’s how you play

1. Each person chooses a color and takes an equal amount of notes (30 each)

2. Set aside 20 post-it notes for now

3. Use the remaining 10 notes for Steps 4–6

4. Ideally, steps 4–5 should be completed in silence. Each person writes down on the sticky side of their post-it note a topic or idea of which they’d like to know their partner’s opinion. This could be anything under the sun, from snoring to Valentines’ Day. Note: Don’t show your partner what you’re writing.

5. After writing each note, stick it to a table or wall with the blank side facing upwards.

6. After you are both done, agree on the order in which the notes will be revealed.

7. Ideally, steps 7–9 should also be completed in silence. Flip the note to reveal the topic.

8. Upon each reveal, use the notes set aside in Step 2. Write on the sticky side your rating (from 0 to 5) of what you think of the revealed topic. For example, if the note revealed Valentines’ Day and you’re not fond of the idea of having a dedicated day to profess your love, rate it low! Decimals are not allowed. Hence no 2.5 or meeting halfway.The idea is to have an opinion

9. Stick the ratings beside the topic. Make sure the other person cannot see the rating yet.

10. Repeat Steps 7–9 until all notes have been revealed and rated.

11. Once you’re done with all 20 topics, it’s time to reveal everyone’s ratings. The learning now begins! Reveal the ratings for each topic one by one.

12. Discuss the rating by explaining to your partner why you gave the topic a specific rating. For example, with Valentine’s Day, if you rated the celebration as 1, tell your partner your rationale for why you think Valentine’s Day doesn’t make sense. If you rated it as 5, tell them why you think it’s the best celebration on the planet.

13. Repeat Step 12 until complete

At the end of the game, your table or wall will look something like this —

Yes, we didn’t really agree on Valentine’s day or Horoscopes.

So what’s the idea behind this game?

Each opinion has a story. A relationship becomes stronger when you become aware and gradually accept the different life experiences the other person has had, which helped shape their opinions and beliefs

The game can also be played using Mural or Miro. This would especially be useful for long-distance couples. We’ve prepared some base templates that can be used here and it’s available for free!

There are a lot more similar games and content that I’d love to share. If you’d love this type of content do consider subscribing to me on Hackernoon.


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